You probably don't want others to worry about you and what makes you sad.
Probably, you're still not ready to express your sadness a behind it to someone else so you'd rather smile and show that everything's okay.
Now that fact that you know that it's not okay is a great starting point. Try to be on your own for like half an hour a day: this will help you figuring out what is wrong and you'll find a solution.
You know, sometime we're too much involved in the society and being always with someone doing something looks like a must. But we have to be also with ourself to bring all our energy into our being and re-establish the balance
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